Email blog

I’m just like this sometimes

I killed my twitter! It hasn’t been fun for awhile, just a habit and a distraction. This feels like a big deal, but it shouldn’t be. I will miss other people’s content though, so if you have an email newsletter that I can subscribe to, let me know!

It took me three hours of talking myself into it and stressing about clicking the “deactivate” button but all that stressing made me feel dumb so I just did it. Now the email blog will fill the vacant part of my creative process of redrafting an internal, private thought for an audience other than myself that twitter held for the last ten years. I don’t think I would have found “my voice” without sending tweets into the void. Although, I read my early tweets before the big delete and I was very embarrassed for myself. All tweets are embarrassing. And anyway, these days I mostly tweeted about Blink 182.

Speaking of which, I had a dream the other night that I got into a station wagon with Mark and Tom from Blink 182 because we were going on a road trip. Mark started the car, he was the driver, and I was in the back seat. We were all taking in a deep breath because we were about to harmonize Blink 182 songs together. Before we could, the body of a starving child from Africa fell onto the roof of the car with a loud bang that shook the whole car. It turned out that was when I was sleeping through an earthquake. I wonder what it all means.

My friend used to work for a non-profit founded by Tom DeLonge’s wife so my friend occasionally saw Tom in the office. At that time I was in a band and we were in the middle of a sad Blink 182 covers project. I hoped she would give him a tape when we got around to making one. He never got the tape but here is a video of us performing in someone’s living room in 2013.

 

I can’t stop thinking about the show Flowers starring Olivia Colman (Peep Show, Broadchurch) and Julian Barratt (The Mighty Boosh). I cried a lot and I laughed a lot, which are two of my favorite activities because they feel like the same thing. The writer/director Will Sharpe’s ability to perfectly balance comedy and tragedy was impressive. I spent the entire series worried about every character and felt deep emotional pain in hard to reach places. It was something I’ve never experienced in a show. The first season intensely captures depression and the second season focuses on the manic and depressive phases of bipolar disorder. I’m going to watch it again.

 

Here are some lines from Black Swans by Eve Babitz that I felt were important enough to write down in my notes app:

“Like all American women, being led was my main downfall.”

“The trouble with life is, just when you think you’re having a happy ending, things are changing, because there are no endings except death.”

“[I didn’t want to] be like Joan Didion, whose writing scared the hell out of most of the men I knew.”

“People who love your writing already think they’re you.”

 

I find it hard to share music these days because no one is very interested in unsolicited recommendations, or in need of them because everyone has spotify discover now. But I’ll share a song anyway. This is my favorite by Fall of Saigon which is an adaptation of a James Joyce poem:

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The word featured in this new poem is boo submitted by Simon Whybray. It’s in there, you just have to look close!

I’m just like this sometimes

Because i remember everything
Or because i regret not being more mean to boys in high school
Or because i don’t mind feeling sad

thanks for reading

:0)
Cortney